Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted
thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental
inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there.
Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms
of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly
a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For
those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
The Horror Must Be Stopped!
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution,
or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic
health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations
are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar
devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of
military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated
underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later
It's Not Too Late!
Act NOW to prevent further contamination. Find out more about this dangerous chemical. What you don't know can hurt you and others throughout the world.
If you don't find this to be amazingly funny, read it again.
If you STILL don't think that it's funny, read the URL for this page.
Now. If you don't get it yet, I'm sorry. There's no hope...
April 2003: Penn and Teller had a petition signed to have Dihydrogen Monoxide banned -- which is just Bullshit!